Collection: Sarcasm

warning the level of idgaf that I'm at now is dangerous

If you can't kill them with kindness try poison

I could stop being petty but I'm not a quitter

I don't rise and shine I'm not a morning person

Please hold I haven't had my caffeine yet

That sounds like my wife's problem

Conspiracy theory university

Kinda obsessed really caffeinated

Over caffeinated

Must definitely not in a roll

Everything sucks

Lactose intolerant extremely irresponsible